Literary Reflections is pleased to present our featured writing prompt response from March. We asked, "How did the role of motherhood offer a fertile ground in which you could resolve inner conflicts? How did raising children help you to grow as an adult?"
Paula Kiger wrote:
Because one of the most vocal members of my book club is a biology professor, I have ended up reading two books related to agriculture within the past six months -- The Omnivore’s Dilemma and Animal Vegetable Miracle. Both of them recommend crop rotation and polyculture as methods to reduce vulnerabilities in our food system. When you grow the same crop month after month, year after year in the same soil, you exhaust the soil and increase the chances of disease and pest infestation.
When I read this month’s writing prompt, acres of fields growing only corn came immediately to mind. When industrial farmers rely on only one crop (monoculture), they count on plants that are engineered to be extremely predictable: these plants are bred to fend off pests and (seriously) to be "considerate" of their neighboring crops by growing mostly "up" and not "out" so that the farmer can cram more crops into the growing area.
My family is no monoculture, nor can I predict what my children are genetically programmed to fend off. How will they grow, physically and emotionally? How will I grow in relation to them?
The self I brought to motherhood was one desperately desirous of being a mom. In those first few years, I didn’t have a lot of time to consciously work on inner conflicts or to assess the different adult I was becoming.
Now that my children are twelve and nine, though, I am in a decidedly transitional phase, one that gives me a small window in which to be retrospect, before the full onslaught of teenage girlhood descends.
My primary inner conflict has been the internal jostling among my "pleaser" self, my "fighter" self and my "showoff" self. Being a mother has been a thirteen-year process of resolving these three selves. Being the "pleaser" means that I have laid out a whole lot of outfits without teaching children to do it, that I have overemphasized to my children the importance of following directions to the "t" (even the stupid ones), and that I have acquiesced to choices that saved the peace but ultimately shortchanged me. The "fighter" self was kind of dormant until a load of debt pushed me to make more aggressive choices to get out from under the money issues, to take on extra work, and to strive to get the weight off my chest created by owing so much money. The "showoff" self has huddled backstage for a very long time.
How has motherhood helped these three sides find some degree of harmony? As Havelock Ellis said, "All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." Just like the soil is depleted if it never rests, so my soul is diminished if it has no periods of contemplation. I have learned that there is a timing when coming to terms with inner conflict that involves resting the soul -- if you are always manipulating it, adding imperatives in and allowing erosion, it may never yield its abundant potential.
Paula Kiger can be reached at opuswsk(at)aol(dot)com.
Mama's Boy columnist Jessica Berger Gross has a new book called "enLIGHTened: How I Lost 40 Pounds with a Yoga Mat, Fresh Pineapples, and a Beagle Pointer." Jessica struggled with severely fluctuating weight until she took her first yoga class in Katmandu, lost 40 pounds, and changed her life forever. She shares the core principles of yoga philosophy—not the poses and postures, but the ancient system of ideas that lies behind them, drawn from a 2,000 year old text called the Yoga Sutras. Beyond health and dieting, enLIGHTened shows readers how to gain peace of mind.
Catherine Newman, author of Waiting for Birdy, writes "If your body is a temple, would you really want to leave Doritos at the altar?" Good question--and this book is full of them, along with recipes, philosophy, yoga poses, compassion, pineapple-cutting lessons, and practical tips about diet and health. Even if all the yoga you can handle is "corpse pose," you'll be glad for Jessica Berger Gross's inspirational company on your journey to inner beauty."
Want to Write a Winning Cup of Comfort Story?
Join us for our inaugural Cup of Comfort Webinar and learn how!
In this webinar, the publishers of the Cup of Comfort series will guide you through the story creation process so that you'll be able to write a successful story every time! The webinar will cover many topics:
Story Basics: The definition of an inspirational story and a discussion of its structure, voice, point-of-view, and more!
Top Ten Reasons Why Stories Are Rejected: A straightforward discussion of the ten pitfalls you need to avoid!
Deconstruction of Favorite Cup of Comfort Stories: The editors will break down two effective stories and elaborate on what made them that way.
The Submission and Editing Process: The nuts and bolts of how stories get from your computer to our books!
How to Market Your Published Story: Your story is in one of our books. Great! Now how do you get the word out? We'll show you how.
Q&A: An open dialogue where your specific questions can be addressed.
This is a can't-miss event for serious storytellers!
Date: Thursday, April 30th
Time: 1:00 pm EST
Duration: 1 hour and 30 minutes
Cost: $49
Click here to register
Publishing the raw materials of fiction, poetry and other creative work: index cards; napkin notes; notebook entries; etc. See the right-side panel of hit and run magazine.
Literary Mama is seeking poems about fatherhood, and we welcome male voices for our June Father's Day issue. We seek writing that is about fathers from the child's perspectives; about the relationships between fathers and mothers and husbands and wives; about husbands as fathers; and by self-defined fathers about fathering and mothering (including lesbian or transexual parents who identify as fathers). As always, we seek poems that are incisive, interesting, and emotionally resonant. Please submit before May 1st to poetry editor Sharon Kraus at lmpoetry@literarymama.com
Thanks to a flurry of submissions, Literary Reflections is closing submissions from April 1st until June 1st while we read through our backlog. If you have an essay you'd like to submit, please send it in now or wait until June. We look forward to reading your work!
Check out Sybil Lockhart (Literary Mama Reviews Editor and Mama in the Middle columnist) book, Mother In The Middle: A Biologist's Story of Caring for Parent and Child, on Barnes and Noble's Rave Reviews From Our Readers.
Sybil Lockhart, a Berkeley neurobiologist, became a "mother in the middle" when she was pregnant with her second daughter and her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. What makes Sybil's story different, and so powerful, is that she understood the neurological processes, by turns exciting and devastating, that were taking place in the brains of those she loved. Interweaving her scientific expertise with her own complicated emotions, she writes with elegant simplicity and breathtaking honesty about biology's inevitable, powerful effects on the people around her.
The Pen Parentis Reading Series in New York City presents two notable authors reading from their work each month in a free, two hour event which concludes with an intimate Q&A and signings at the authors’ discretion.
Come hear great writers read from their work and share how they balance their parenting lives and writing careers. Be inspired, have a glass of wine in a beautiful new literary space, support the arts and toast those who are proving that it is indeed possible to be a writer AND a parent.
April 14th: Arthur Philips & Julie Klam
Read A Cup of Comfort for New Mothers with essays by some of LM's own moms-Caroline Grant (Editor-in-Chief), Amy Hudock (Founding Co-Editor)and Kristina Riggle (Fiction Co-Editor).
There’s a new baby in the house—and it’s not the only one crying. New moms cry happy tears, tired tears, and overwhelmed tears—and that’s when the wisdom, sensitivity, and empathy of women who’ve been there prove invaluable. In this book, you meet fifty mommies who’ve lived and loved through those terribly wonderful first months home with baby. From a first time mom faced with keeping her little miracle safe and happy once daddy goes back to work, to a mother who wonders how she will find time for the newest member of her already sizable family, these moving stories provide the support and reassurance first-time mothers need to enjoy their new role—and their baby—to the fullest!
"Cultivating Your Fearless Writing Voice"
Thursdays, April 2 - May 28; 7:00 — 9:30 p.m.
Classes meet in North Berkeley; the cost is $250 for the entire nine-week session.
About the class:
Mindfulness is full attention on the present moment. In this workshop, we’ll explore how to use this practice, both formally and informally, to discover and write our deep stories. We’ll write from personal experience, using exercises to generate and hone topics, address “writing blocks,” respond to others’ work, and craft finished products. Students will “publish” and share at least one finished piece, and receive individualized feedback from both peers and the teacher. Suitable for experienced and beginning writers alike, this workshop provides a safe, inspiring place to coax forth your inner writer.
What former Mindful Writer students say:
“Chris created a very comfortable, supportive process of inquiry into writing. He shared his passion for mindfulness and writing in a way that inspires my own.”
“I truly feel the freedom and safety to write from my heart without fear in longer glimpses after taking this class. I look forward to ‘coming back’ to my practices, again and again,
without shame or guilt.”
“Chris allows each writer to develop courage to put word to paper and share it with the world. I enjoyed his encouraging and generous spirit…I have also felt healed by the transformative power of writing about some of the intense experiences in my life. I feel really grateful to have taken this class.”
About the teacher:
Chris Malcomb has practiced mindfulness meditation for six years. He has taught private writing classes and facilitated workshops for the California Association of Independent Schools, the Bay Area Teacher Training Institute, and the Prison University Project at San Quentin. His essays have appeared in San Francisco Chronicle Magazine, Common Ground, Teachers & Writers, and KQED Perspectives. He is currently pursuing his MFA in Creative Writing at the University of San Francisco.
WHAT: Launch of International Mothers Network - The First Ever Global Consortium Of Motherhood Organizations
WHEN: Sunday, March 8th International Women's Day
WHERE: A virtual launch is online, in blog-spheres, youtube, within
collective maternal activist communities and websites and in academia across the world with participation by thousands. Walk, Write, Talk, Share, Watch, Blog, Attend an International Women's Day Gathering near you and spread the word - Mother's Day Is Coming. Watch video here:
www.internationalmothersnetwork.org
Write your story here: www.museumofmotherhood.org
WHO: Association For Research On Mothering, The Motherhood Foundation, MAMAPALOOZA!, Welfare Mothers, Mamazine, Momsrising, Mother Centers International Network for Empowerment, Motherhood Movement Online, Mothers Acting Up, Mothers and More, Mothers Out to Have Equal Rights, National
Advocates for Pregnant Women, National Association of Mothers' Centers, NOW, Sistersong, CODE PINK, Brainchild Magazine, Mother The Job and more.
WHY:
- to link maternal activist organizations and galvanize a signal-to-noise phase that goes directly to the grassroots level
- be beneficial to mothers seeking community;
- expand the growing Mom Rock Movement - a "Third Wave" vehicle for
empowerment.
International Mothers Network
The International Mothers Network (IMN), the first ever, global consortium of motherhood organizations, officially launches on International Woman's Day (March 8, 2009) in cities around the world.
IMN's focus, in particular, is on, progressive mothers groups - mothers from the global south, mothers in poverty, mothers who are activists, mothers with disabilities, welfare mothers, grandmother caregivers and others, who are vested in feminist perspectives on maternal well-being, health; including but not limited to, safety, freedom of expression, equal rights, benefits for families and caregivers and support for organizations that encourage a platform for continued pragmatic change work.
Initial round table discussions, which came as part of the Toronto Conference titled, 'Motherhood- You Say You Want A Revolution, committed to working together in equitable, sharing and participative ways that reflect maternal and matriarchal values in dealing with power and decision-making. Founding members agreed that the network must include a sense of community building, and must encourage ongoing discussion and dissemination of information to help bring the motherhood movement to a new, practical reality, galvanizing the work that has already begun.
IMN is committed to a more mother-centered world and dedicated to bringing diverse mother groups together to work toward influencing public discussion as well as exploring alternate economic and societal structures. The IMN will provide a sense of community and promote public awareness and affect change.
A film about this first ever summit, tentatively titled 'The Motherhood Movement' ~ You Say You Want A Revolution, is currently in production. Initial projects of the IMN include: a quarterly newsletter and a calendar of events, Mother's Day Action for Month of May and a triennial conference.
Dr. Andrea O'Reilly,
Associate Professor,
School of Women's Studies,
Founder-Director: Association for Research on Mothering, Journal of the Association for Research on Mothering, Demeter Press, Co-Founder, Museum of Motherhood, Co-Founder, International Mothers Network, Editor, Encyclopedia of Motherhood, Sage Press, 2010.
York University,
Toronto, Ont.,
M3J 1P3
416 736 2100;60366
aoreilly@yorku.ca
www.yorku.ca/arm