Everything on my body had loosened and fallen out of place. My hips still wobbled in their sockets when I walked, and my brain had literally shrunk (or so I’d heard on a radio show). I fiddled with the misshapen bun that flopped on the back of my head. In my round-the-clock effort to feed Connor, washing and sleeping had fallen to the wayside.
Meghan Moravcik Walbert
Pieces of BlueJay, memories of all the bedtime stories Mike read to him and the songs I sang to him vibrate through that room. The sign with his name still hangs on the back of the door. The star lamp we bought for him remains dim.
Polly Duff Kertis
I’d heard that all a baby needs is to know that it was wanted. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to fake it. I touched the ugly secret with the satisfaction of tonguing a toothache. I clung to it. I laughed about the surprising nature of the situation, self-deprecating, in a way that I hoped sounded charming. I felt like I’d failed as a mother before the baby was even born. What pressed back was the notion that I hadn’t even wanted to be a mother, yet.
Kimi Cunningham Grant
Stash a reasonable amount of nostalgia in a string-topped bag from a resort you once visited: Fuzzy Bee, the turquoise toy with buttons you bought the first time you ventured into Walmart without another adult, a few sleepers, a blue onesie with doggies. Get rid of the rest. Give it all to your best friend who is having twins the same week you’re having your uterus removed.
Lois Ruskai Melina
By the time I was 26, the adhesions reached into every part of my gut. I imagined them like the gauze cobwebs people buy to stretch over their shrubs at Halloween, one strand winding around an ovary then reaching for my colon, another filament choking a fallopian tube, another my vagina, my internal organs pulled out of whack.
Holding Ella close, I’ve never felt a love like this, warm and glowing, like being flooded with liquid gold from the inside out. But within a few minutes, the spell breaks and she begins to cry. I try to nurse her. She latches on and pulls off over and over again. As her cries fill the room, my jaw locks tight and a sour taste floods my mouth. What kind of mother can’t soothe her own baby?
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