"Hey, Bug."

Caroline could barely hear her own words. (Had she said them?) The oxygen hissed up her nose through the plastic prongs. The pull of the Vicodin lured her toward sleep. Sam didn't look up from his Spirograph, but Caroline knew that that didn't mean he hadn't heard her.

"Bug?" she said again. This time she detected a slight hesitation in the whirring of his pen. The symmetric designs stopped spilling onto his spiral-bound notebook.
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Her dog, Ike, pulls on the leash attached to Maureen's wrist, as Thomas, her four-year-old, holds on to the back of her coat and her purse slides to the crook of her arm. Maureen feels stretched and off balance.

Before entering the nursing home, Maureen needs to right herself.
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The mother swept quickly through the crosswalk, like a duck on a pond, trailing her daughter behind her. She hooked her thumbs under the straps of her backpack, felt the ache lift away, then settle again on her shoulders. What seemed necessary had become a burden: a Thermos of iced water, coloring books, borrowed binoculars, a stuffed unicorn. A day that had to be perfect.
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I knew the firemen would be up. It's the kind of frigid, unfriendly midnight when most people are under covers, conked out. Not at the firehouse though, where they're always on duty, where they've been trained to be prepared for anything. Through the windows, I can see two of them in there, talking and laughing. Lugging us a little closer to get a better look, I'm careful to stay in a dark spot just across the street until I'm ready. I got to get myself ready.
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And instantly I want to speak to your mother. To tell her how peaceful you look, and how your face seems dream-like and content, as though you'd known you'd done the right thing. Just as suddenly I want to grab you and shake you and scream at you for what you'd just done to her.
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Rock salt crunches under her high-heeled boots. Bob must have thrown it there on his way in, knowing she'd be heading out. Kind of sweet. She hears a knock behind her. Julianna pauses on the last step, turns. The girls wave from the window seat. Julianna blows two kisses. Ooh, they are so sweet sometimes, and this is so noticeable when they are being left behind, that she has to tell herself: Keep going!
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