Cold Sprite, Please, with a Side of Potatoes and Fraggles
"Mama, I wanna be a 'Cold Sprite' for Halloween tomorrow."
Mid-July is boiling over into August,
and our tomatoes will never ripen . . .
The tiring, sticky mutation of our spawn into the "Corpse Bride" must wait.
Every time the sky thunders,
The Bella child's tongue piercing voice roars: "The Potatoes are coming!!!!"
A Veritable Potato Tornado.
We now set pots and pans in the yard,
on the off chance that said Potatoes will in fact fall from the sky:
During the Tornado.
Would the Waverly warning siren scream a new tune if potatoes did plummet to earth?
Could this be the coming of Osama Au Gratin?
The sunshine is giving her fraggles, even though we apply sunscreen ritually.
We aren't conservative 'bout it at all.
Wondering if the watching of "Freckle Rock" has sprinkled those spots upon her . . .
Or was it the pirated DVD recordings of "Drawn Together"
'cause, uh, now she wants to be "Foxy":
A "mystery-solving musician"
Should we call Adult Swim or channel Jim Henson to be sure?
I am quite secure that there is no cure . . .
. . .Did you know that boys have butts and grrls have tushies?
Do not bother to bury your dead anymore, for snakes swallow them whole.
And . . .
"Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" is Bellafficially renamed "Kick Butt Grrls".
Knowledge Is Power.
And her power is frightening!
As parents we could not be more proud of her inventive demented mind.
And do so cultivate said spirit with careless abandon.
For we fear a rebellious teen.
One who turns to
Dry cleaned clothing,
and iPod recordings of Paul Harvey commentary,
(and not for the laughs either, mind you).
If one ever wonders why her beautiful, vibrant, brain wanders freely,
Reread this. . .re-write.
Leigh Anne Clark, with husband Gus and daughter Isabella, live in Waverly, Alabama; population 225. Leigh is a dazzled and awed mother, licensed massage therapist, and student of alternative medicine. Except for a life-long torrid affair with words and language, she has absolutely no business being a writer.
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