Literary Mama writing about the many faces of motherhood
What You Do

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You take a class.
You spend several afternoons trying to get a straight answer from your insurance company.
You learn how to give yourself shots.
They take your blood.
Your mother comes to visit.
You stop having sex.
You drink a lot of water.
You look at your embryos on a computer screen.
You decide to freeze some.
You’re not sure what else you would do. Not freeze them?
You talk lucidly about the surgeon’s son’s chances of getting into a top-tier college during the implantation.
You sort of think, “Why the fuck are we talking about this now?” But you keep talking about it.
You finally get to pee in a bedpan. The nurse pretends to be cool about it, but you can tell she’d rather you held it.
You hold hands.
You like it quiet.
The other couple talks a lot.
You know that this much waiting makes people crazy.
You yourself are crazy with hope.
You go home.
You have fears.
You do the shots.
You wait for the call.
You feel something.
Your mother leaves.

Carley Moore’s poetry, essays, and articles have appeared in The American Poetry Review, Aufgabe, Birdsong Magazine,  Coconut, Drunken Boat, and The Journal of Popular Culture. Her debut young adult novel, The Stalker Chronicles, was published by Farrar, Straus, and Giroux in 2012. She’s a full-time faculty member in The Liberal Studies Program at New York University and an Associate for Bard College’s Institute for Writing and Thinking. She lives with her daughter in New York City. You can find her blogging and read more of her work at her website:

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