Literary Mama writing about the many faces of motherhood
The Game of Life

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I used to count those babies like I could control
How I played the Game of Life
I would stick one, two, three, however many
Blue or pink plastic figures in my little plastic car
Make a deal with my opponent
You can pick yours, too, and it’s okay to play this way
That way I’d plan things as if I could for real
I used to count my hopes on two hands
Like one wasn’t big enough for
All my happiness
For the wishes I had of crowded kitchens
Hot with children’s voices and
Rolling water pots filled with pasta
I counted out my life
And expected things
To go
Just so
Now I count differently
I still need two hands
But more than half of those
Are marking loss
My little digit reminders of
Every time I bled too soon
Of every time I got fucked by this game


Amanda Linsmeier’s work has appeared in Brain, Child Magazine, WOW! Women on Writing, and Portage Magazine. She is the author of the novel Ditch Flowers. Amanda works part-time at her local library and brings home more books than she has time to read. She lives in the countryside with her husband, children, two dogs, and half-wild cat and is at work on a paranormal women’s fiction novel revolving around forbidden relationships, post-partum depression, and magic.


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